The worst thing that has ever happened to me happened today. I was taking donations at goodwill and someone donated a clearly used vibrator
in a basement doing blow off a prince dvd next to a chick in a saddam mask
he walked in on you at the party drunkenly dancing alone on the bed wearing mardi gras beads, sunglasses, and using one ski pole as a microphone.... and you STILL got laid. i dont get your life.
It's amazing how much better one feels once you put something in your vagina.
I owe her a pancake or a second hand orgasm
I've hooked up with six guys in my ethics class next semester...I feel like I've failed already
no one is here. wer drinking in the beer garden in the dark and we stole a bucket of blue paint off the sidewalk. now her legs are blue.
Its not that I'm getting free haircuts... Its just that she is paying for sex with haircuts...
I have a feeling she doesn't appreciate me as a person. She only fucks me because I look like Harry Potter.
i was mezmorized. she was the most beautiful girl that looked like a boy i ever seen
I just set a reminder on my phone to get star spangled hammered this weekend.
Even blacked out me knows not to sleep with socks on
I'm not well. Although it could be worse.
My cousin is so hungover she quit her job.
Just whisper "I fucked your boyfriend" in her ear and be done with it.
But I’m still curious to know... how did the homemade porno go?
Randomize
