I forgot to tell you. I'm at a porno shoot today.
I can't get into him, he looks really young. I'd feel like I was blowing the Gerber baby.
look, i may have sacrified a 20% assignment for a sprite. this is what hangovers do to me.
Yeah, my mom walked in on us. Instead of yelling, she went and hid in the bathroom til we finished. It was pretty classy.
There is NOTHING better than watching a child being chased by an ostrich.
Just had a serious bathroom emergency at walmart a and it appears that i ate a taco bell burrito wrapper last night
It' a whole new level of walk of shame. I'm carrying his sheets since I have a washer/dryer.
Being the only sober one.. I had to feed you guys doritos. You kept licking my fingers.
Well, love is in the air. And by that I mean: it seriously smells like sex in here.
i looked down and was like "oh shit thats blood" then it was like "shit, thats not my blood." then it was like whos blood is this??
I honestly think the worst part about the night is they just kicked us out of the park and we didn't even get to go into Disneyland Jail
And now we should drink to that moment where you realize you didn't exactly think things through.
Also I played a weird game of chicken in the ladies room at work between myself the person pooping 2 stalls over and a very determined maintenance man.
I'm using her Instagram as a way to know where in town she is so I can avoid her lol
Mom told me you snuck booze into a concert in a cheez its box...I have never been prouder to be related to you
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