dude you just took shreks wife home. what the fuck is wrong with you
when a bears hungry he eats besides shes got her nipples pierced
I hope mine doesn't look like that
i will soon be in a relationship on fb
you!?
me and your mom. i mean, lisa.
as soon as you compare a person to an animal, all sexual interest is out the window
Dude, Erin Andrews has a nude video circulating the internet.
Is it any good?
Let me put it this way: I bet Stuart Scott's lazy eye went straight after watching that.
Canada: barely better than America at a sport they invented.
I am like king midas for the gay community. everything I touch turns into a lesbian.
Hangover cure: shower, throw up again, sleep for 4 hours, eat salsa, brush teeth. Good to go.
He was president of his frat and had a clap on disco ball in his room... or course I slept with him
My night started to turn around the time I started calling her a "raggedy cunt".
Somehow she got that I meant it as a term of endearment.
I guess I look like the kind of girl who would buy edible, weed-infused lube.
The fact that me being able to walk down stairs is an accomplishment in my books pretty much explains how I am
I just masterbated to the Lets Get Ready To Rumble theme
Started mixing booze directly into the 2 liters and carrying them around. Mixing less often, and now kind of weightlifting,so double effecient.
Someone broke into my car last night. Didn't take anything, even left the beer in my backseat. They need to get their priorities straight, obviously.
Randomize
