Btw the nut in my hair goes great with my outfit !!! :(
just watched a girl laugh at her own fingers... it's not even noon...
i slept with her, drove her to her sisters house to babysit, and then drove around the block where i met her sister and had sex with her in my van. I'm family Friendly!
My history teacher just took his shirt off cuz the classroom was to hot. And then he invited us all to join him.
He asked me why my bellybutton was so ugly... and wondered why i wasnt in the mood anymore.
she was stripping to whiskey lullaby. most depressed boner.
Apple should advertise that their phones are puke-proof. They would appeal to a whole new audience.
i refuse to be around anyone not wearing a sombrero...its cinco de mayo
Yes but from my experience being high around your own baby makes you feel like the worst kind of mom
Don't get me wrong, I love talking about lube and such, but why are we?
I wish I was there to have sex with you on the plane to lessen your anxiety.
That's the nicest thing anyone has over said to you.
Dude I thought she was trying to turn my dick inside out
Did you know that if you chase vodka with cheap red wine it tastes exactly like college alcoholism?
I'm only coming over if you have cocaine or a snickers bar
You’re about to have a sober threesome with a rando at a Fenway bar?
Randomize
