So I said to her: one time i broke my dick and when they took off the cast i could cum across a baseball field
You cheat on me once, shame on me. You cheat on me with a white girl, it's fucking over
i wish we had morning classes together so we can spike our coffee.
If life deals in absolutes, the in betweens are the most hairy.... Fortune cookie wisdom from a stoned Megan.
Just did a slip and slide down a five story staircase in my dorm. Being an engineer is fucking awesome
Right... Let's keep my vodka tinged mind focused on simple words
Sounds like it could have been the night you pulled out your love stump at the strip club.
Trying to decide who to DD on the fourth and I came up with a Who's who of guys I've hooked up with in the last month. Not an ideal situation, but I have a feeling it's gonna happen anyway.
That's not a current picture, because if you look deep enough into my eyes you can still see morals. Not these days.
Just watched a middle age white woman scream WHY DON'T YOU GO FUCK YOURSELF, HELEN?! Helen seemed absolutely scandalized.
All im saying is that my face might fall off.
Now you can NEVER tell anyone that on thanksgiving I took a selfie of my pussy to prove they don't get worse with babies.
her nickname was handjob. I knew what i was getting into.
Depends how u look at it. Half-full, half-empty, or how should I shave my pubes
Do you think he’ll fall in love with me if I tell him I have a nickname for his penis
Randomize
