i no longer even have beer goggles. i'm pretty sure i blacked out and had beer lasik.
The KFC double down is way too much for a drunk. He was just staring at it in awe.
it makes more sense than having a misplaced asshole
im not talking about this
Lindsay lohan: road to jail is on E tonight. Bring vodka we are not missing an opportunity to make a drinking game out of this
I had sex with her because I didn't want to hurt her feelings.. You're the one who told me I should be more sensitive.
Just asked the bartender if I could use the register to see my grades.
You were outside the bathroom the gay guy was puking in, screaming "IT GETS BETTER!" over and over again. Good message, poor execution.
He said I was almost as good as the wheel chair sex he had the night before. Apparently I just cant compete with 4 wheels
I will never in my life forget you letting the cat lick your tongue
Thank you <3 he just looked at me, fist bumped me, and asked me what was on my titty....we may cut her off
He came over in a blaze orange vest with a case of beer and a shotgun yelling about "Dove Season" then passed out in the lawn. There he lies
His new girl is probably classy and boring. I bet she doesn't feed him sour patch kids while she wiggles his weiner.
It's the 3rd day of the year and I've already sucked two dicks. New year same ole me.
Almost lost a vagina lip in the great shave of '16
New drinking game get out your high school year book and take a shot for everyone in your class who's had a baby!
Randomize
