So how was last night?
Let's just say I danced with the devil
Huh?
I'm going to Hell for sure
Funniest shit happened at the grocery store. This kid kept asking his mom for candy over and over and she told him 'daddy said no' and he screamed 'he isn't my dad' so loud everyone in the store was silent it was awesome.
Ramen noodles and uncensored jerry springer episodes, what a nice life i have.
you threw up in the oven last night. i found that out after i preheated it to cook a pizza.
so when i dont talk to her she talks to herself...idk whats worse
We tried to play doctor all sexually then he was taking down my 'symptoms' I said I needed to puke he thought it was part of the game
Seriously what kind of college town is this? Nobody parties during the week or abuses perscription drugs
Breakfast Clubbing as Juggalos. I can feel our IQs in freefall.
If you come home and I'm pantsless with cake smeared all over my face, I'm sorry.
Our first order of business as new roommates was to test the sex acoustics of our rooms. I need a new box spring.
she's fucked both of my roommates but not me. i feel like I'm not part of the group anymore
I have stickers all over my boobs and a lump the size of china on my forehead. today has not been good.
God is tempting me with everything tonight. Brownies and dick, mostly.
All I can remember from last night was eating nutella and touching myself to Weird Science.
I forgot that I'm high because of how high I am.
Randomize
