He finally told me that he's married. I guess it doesn't really matter.
I may have told her we're dating for a handjob, Fake tits are overrated.
Alli causes anal leakage. You can find someone to like you if you are fat but no one will like you if you poop yourself.
My ex best friend's ex fuck buddy is visiting. There was no other option but day drinking.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
its not a party unless mikie exposes himself
I'm trying on my bridesmaid dress so that I can determine what will need to be done to achieve getting fucked while wearing it.
Not good... He ate my chips. Thats not a sex analogy for anything. My actual potato chips... gone. I lost on both ends.
MY TWIN SISTER IS ENGAGED. I REPEAT, MY SCREW UP OF A SISTER IS ENGAGED. THIS IS NOT A DRILL.
I'll be there in 20 with vodka.
I'm drunk enough to know I'm texting you and sober enough to know what I'm saying to you
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I went out with a plan. I came home with a Brian. THIS WAS NOT PART OF THE PLAN.
I'd climb him like a horny MILF spider monkey.
She drunkenly texted me about Japanese mythology at four AM. I think I’m in love.
I enjoy the company of your penis
Oh well, he'll live. He has a hand and a penis.
Why don’t they have healthy alcohol yet?
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