Apparently every Tri-Delt knows what I did and I am blacklisted from ever dating anyone in that house.
Well ya you lied, told her you cared, took her virginity and then broke up with her at Christies Toy Box.
I honestly thought the dildo was a nice parting gift.
im using old socks as coasters. im going to make a great housewife.
he has officially spend more money on me than any other boy. and its all gone to plan b. awesome.
i'm pretty sure i lost all sex appeal when he caught me peeing in his bushes
Watching the 1st game of the world cup. I'll drunk dial you at 8:30 to wake you up for work.
Remember when I was so high that I thought my appendix burst? All I had to do was fart man, just fart.
i told you he always needs adult supervision he just tazered himself
Did you know that scruff feels epic on boobs especially when they are covered in whip cream?
Ehhh, contemplating pain killers and fruit snacks if that's any indication.
he said "be careful" then handed me a cheezit...
ok NEVER tell the strippers its your birthday. i think i have to burn these clothes and take a bath in bleach
we were running around the halls trying to bloodhound search out the source of the weed smell, but we ran into six other people doing the same thing, and they all said they assumed it was us.
We watched ESPN, hooked up, got waffles. You know, a typical weekend.
Afterwards the first thing I said was, "You know, you're probably the first guy who has ever gotten laid wearing Star Wars pajama bottoms."
I'm classy like audry Hepburn. Chugging wine out of the bottle on the way to the club. Shed do that. I know she would.
Randomize
