and the officer said have you been drinking
and i said NOO SIR.
and he said, I am a woman.
She looked like Sean Connery with cleft lip. So to answer your question, yes I put it in her butt.
I wish I had a dollar for every time I've slept off a late night I dont want to remember in my recliner.
He caught a squirrel with his bare hands twice. Where do you find these people?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I was just about to send a concerned text until I opened my door and saw a shopping cart. I'm glad you made it home in one piece and with toys.
he needs to hurry and make his mind up... i mean i can't keep getting peed on by a guy who isn't even my boyfriend
This is final. The chair stays in the bathroom, we are too old to be puking from the floor, grown ups sit in chairs infront of the toilet to puke.
Or grown ups don't drink themselves into vomiting.
you did a full monologue with your sober self last night. different voices and everything.
You need a twittervention. You're better than this.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'll get you through man, I'll be your fairy godmother with better prescription drugs
"I vaguely remember the Health and Safety Inspector walking into my room this morning while I was passed out naked. That's one way to get it over with quickly."
And now you know why we call him Three-Balls Brad
He skipped an important family function with his dying father to fuck me. Terrible human, amazing fuck buddy.
I moved to this city Tuesday and got laid Saturday. Still got it.
snapping my married booty call and next thing I know a plan b ad pops up
Randomize