Dont worry, she is sitting right next to me. She is making it clear she wants to scissor
and before you know it i was laying next to him at 2 in the morning with penis and sadness on my breath.
I now beleive the Trojan Ecstasy ad "feels like nothing's there". They forgot to add "...cause the condom broke."
He;s fine. He just kept saying "hurricane Gordon is coming to shore" and flexed his muscles a lot.
I'm just gonna be the bigger person here and say I want you inside me
Currently flirting with a 57 year old. Why do i do this
I'm tired and starving, and I'm pretty sure I just cost the company 33,000 dollars...fuck you and you're "you'll love going to work high" nonsense.
The ratio of last drink to last smoke is so tricky. This could go on until the booze is gone
We don't really communicate like that.
Communicate like what?
Communicate like people who want to see each other when their genitals are inside their pants.
i knew as soon as i met you that i was gonna be the designated driver
This is the Taco Bell dump we've all been waiting for.
I'm never going to adult. I'm staying a child. The only thing related to adult that I want to do is you.
If I don't get struck by a lightning bolt from God by midnight it will be a Christmas miracle.
JB just got pulled over and I am in the trunk...... this isnt good
this is a mass text: the cage has been opened. repeat, the cage has been opened. a search party will be organized. you are all sloppy bitches. that is all.
Randomize
