Done. Eyebrows are waxed, entire body shaved
Can't imagine what could be worse than pet-naming your penis, but I'll let it go.
just watched a girl laugh at her own fingers... it's not even noon...
new rule: i'm not touching his penis until he takes me out to dinner.
you know, if you actually abided by that rule there would be many more successful restauranteurs in ohio.
Just made a photo collage of the girls I've hooked up with this summer. I'm patting myself on my back right now
Really? How much of his life do you think he remembers? I'm pretty sure 75% of it qualifies as "kind of a blur".
Kate gave me a 3 day old cup of tequila last night and forced me to chug it. P.s. i drew u a picture
We're going to shave my junk and take pictures of it wearing fake mustaches we found at the dollar store. They're uncannily realistic; much better than the cockstaches of my youth.
I once puked on the side of the hwy driving home and it somehow made me feel more Canadian. So don't rule it out
That man gives me hope. I can't help it. And by "hope" I mean "wood."
I totally forgot about finals week. im the worst adderall salesman ever.
Just got biofeeze on my vag. Weirdest sensation everrr. Can't decide if I want to cum or cry
Nothing more ironic than raw dogging some random Asian hottie last night and then doing the walk of shame home from her place mixed in with the participants of the AIDS walk
Operation rebound complete... I fucked the bouncer
Can you see if my straightener is in your refrigerator?
Yes. Its here..
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