I can only masturbate in one position. It's very inconvenient.
everyone made a circle around them and startd chanting fight fight. they wernt fighting, they were dry humping
Stop blaming waffle house for all your problems
You seriously need to keep doing my sexting for me. I just said something about "riding cock like a dick rodeo"
they bet me shots that I couldn't give people piggyback rides around the club just cause I'm 125lbs and a girl...I had a line forming after the third guy.
im sorry for trying to flush a roll of toilet paper down with my puke. probably not great for your toilet
Best part: she drunkenly told me I'm dangerous then slurred to my parents that I should watch out in case I fall in love with her. Then she mounted a pinata
Your rough animalistic sex sounds are disrupting my cocktail hour
You were talking to yourself and eating cold cuts in the kitchen when I found you
This guy on the tube is sooooooo high. Eyes are bloodshot and he's licking his headphone cords.
Those people that talk about exercise endorphins have never experienced a 9x13 pan of mac n cheese endorphins
Just bought plan b at 8am. Then the cashier asked if I wanted to donate to the children's miracle network. Fml
I hate when pubes grow back. My mons is a warzone.
You can't go around chasing people and screaming JUST LET ME LOVE YOU. We're in a public place.
There is a dude with blue hair and a samurai sword and another dude dressed as Dead Pool. I daresay standard social conventions are not applicable in this environment.
I must be pretty memorable. I was walking past this dude and he goes "There's the Scotch Girl." I have ZERO clue who he is, but I'm definitely the Scotch Girl.
Randomize
