Jason just peed on the potty all by himself!!
"omg awesome!, you do realize we aren't together anymore"
After I told my husband the docter shot me in the ass, he said - oh they can but I can't?!
he just called me skinny, hes either trying to get laid, or i'm going to have to marry this man
My mom can no longer prohibit me from smoking pot..I sell to her boyfriend.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
just looked in the mirror, I fell asleep with a face mask on. At least drunk me cares that much about the condition of my skin
She either was great at sex or I finished the whole bottle of svedka my self
He was hiding behind my bedroom door. at noon. Wearing a t shirt. And a condom. Not attractive.
There was a cop outside the house so we just put the alcohol in this watermelon
I couldn't finish the episode and had to lay down because the snapple commercial with the mustache was blowing my mind
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
the straight edge chick smoked with me, because according to her my bowl is pretty
It must have been good head...he put down the Xbox controller
He said he's going to karaoke tonight and I just spilled a bunch of Cheetos on the floor and ate them all. So that's my night.
I lost a fight last night. By that I mean I head butt the bar and busted my lip open.
whered you go
woke up in a ditch, shat infront of a little league game, slept in her stairway...i need to come here more often
I dunno about you, but I consider getting eaten out on the porch of a houseboat in -30c in a bridesmaids dress a northern right of passage
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