Tell me why I go to the dollar store for nail polish remover and a ghetto black dude trys to hit on me in the parking lot, then he gets in line behind me with a dousche bag literally and that is his only purchase.
In retrospect, it was a terrible idea, going down on her with these ulcers in my mouth.
operation "beaches make me wet" is a go
You went to church with your boobs hanging out?
Theyr'e a gift from god, I figured I should show him i'm using them well.
Only your vagina holds the key to what happened last night.
Is it weird being in the house without any roommates?
Nah, just masturbating louder
Like, I just want to be naked rolling around in soft things.
It was a taxi full of fist pumps and chanting to "face down, ass up". It was that 1% that makes my job worth it.
you were yelling that somebody needed to take your bra off with such enthusiasm my first thought was that you were on fire.
I passed out in all my clothes. like my purse too..and with a cup of water next to me..and my last tweet last night was "Bye."
I hat to flip my "days since last bad decision" chart back to zero. So...yeah. Sigh.
I'm not sure... But I think I just found a porno I starred in during my black out week of '08.
Let's get a hotel room this time. I really don't want to sleep in a Dennys parking lot again.
He was watching porn and riding a stationary bike in the living room
If you have been drunk at one point during the day and are going to bed sober that same day, something is very wrong.
Randomize
