I feel like I'm in dance class right now
I'm telling lies about you to make you look like a good person
I've officially put my junk in foods from 5 of the 6 layers of the nutrition pyramid
then she woke up from sleeping for an hour and the first thing she said was "i regret it already"
She sang Bad Romance to me. Not really the answer I was looking for.
Please fuck him. And then let me tell her. And then let me protect you from the knife she pulls from her Ed Hardy purse. Please.
He won't let me have sex with him, but feels bad if I won't let him get me off. It is the weirdest, best, most confusing pseudo relationship I've been in.
Did you guys seriously let me trade my id for a kebab last night??
He said I was cute and he handed me a stuffed bear from his car. I don't care that he was 80, I named it Hector.
YOU WOULD BE SEEING ME. IN MY KITCHEN. BENDING OVER MY OVEN. MAKING YOU CAKE.
Wait, that's an option?
I dunno what's worse, the fact that I hooked up with a guy that shaves his armpits or that I didn't notice until he brought it up the next day
he cancelled our romantic dinner reservations so we could stay home and watch a Rocky movie marathon and order pizza. i know i should be upset but i think i'm kinda in love.
He congratulated me by offering up free orgasms.. I told him I also had a birthday last month we needed to celebrate.. He was there in ten minutes.
I'll be perfectly honest; there are times other guys have consented to have sex with me because of my punctuation.
Juice tastes so weird without alcohol
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