apparentely "Beer Pong Champ" is not a profession, no wonder they havent called me back......
told ya
I wish there was a non-hangover washing machine that I could stick myself in right now
dude we were making out and she kept singing the americas next top model song. you wanna be on top?
when I picked him up he smelled like cheeseburgers, had a bite mark around his left nipple and we think someone stabbed him in the forehead with a pencil... it was like the Hangover meets Texas Chainsaw Massacre
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Gentleman, we have a new medal category - number of women per day in apartment WITHOUT FURNITURE
just an fyi, false alarm on the whole ghonnorea thing. you're safe.
At some point I'd like to figure out how the weird kid from sociology ended up on my couch naked hugging what appears to be some sort of clothing....seriously it's creeping me out
New justification for blow: drug week; 'how it's made'
I felt so bad for you. Drunk Rachael wanted nothing more than to crawl into the cop car and give you a hug. Luckily Mollied/Barred out Rachael convinced Drunk Rachael this was a terrible idea. So I ran. I have your keys btw
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Just be happy that you're the pretty friend. Otherwise you would have had to walk home alone, like me.
I woke up tied to my bed while she was in the corner staring at me while eating cereal. Interesting night!
There should be a company that sends nadgrams. They're like candy grams except the recipient gets kicked in the balls.
If you end up wanting to sit on his face, just make a sound like a dying giraffe and I'll make myself scarce.
Texting people and counting condoms..we have like fourteen. Goal for this week: use all of them
The coast is clear - also, would it bother you if I chose not to wear pants?
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