i just went dwnstairs and there are 5 guys without their shirts on hugging each other. i think i should leave now
I just used my 2 drink stirrers as chopsticks to get a lime out of my drink. I really am Asian.
my head feels like I tried to put alcohol out of business last night
I spent all day at the mall with her, then she made me actually watch a walk to remember then decided to tell me she was on her period. This one is either really crafty or I am really desperate.
My hand is eating my burrito and not saving any for my mouth. TRIPPPPPPPPPPPPPPINN!
apparently, i ordered a pogo stick last night. i can't even be mad about that.
or how I got to mom's but there is vomit on my shoes. I never thought i'd be recapping with her.
he said no sex till date three. i said the party was one, mcdonalds two and that i would take him with me to buy cigs for date three.
We have to use a contraceptive. God help the world if another one of us comes into fruition.
I deleted his number so I had to go into my old voicemails which are saved through my gmail and search his name... Never underestimate the resourcefulness of a drunk girl on a mission for dick
I played ping pong,drunk, with my hand instead of the paddle. And i won. I have hidden talents
See what happens when I don't get laid? I make poor life decisions, like buying baby ducks.
I wouldn't know what to do. You never really mentally prepare for a cactus getting thrown at your face.
Love that I’m sending my uber driver a thank you message for taking me home via mcdonalds tonight before I’m messaging my date from tonight! Lol
You know you're more responsible when you turn down your bed and make a clear path to it before you go out..
Randomize
