I need to remember that good judgment goes out the window after the 7th shot and the 3rd Lady GaGa song.
scratch lunch, i just found about 7 more dicks drawn on my back
I say that when we get our grades back we're making a drinking game out of it.
This titty bar has wifi. I just did FaceTime stage side
Highlight of the night: paying my cell phone bill at the bar... I need to get laid.
I was dressed in monkey onesie serving people vodka jelly with a spoon...
Fuck you come back. The old guy next to me is complementing me on my great choice of ring fingers,
this could be the second dad I've smoked weed with
You just said the word 'slut' out loud in your sleep and then made a moaning noise
He said I could stop sending ass pics now and just say hello. I'm not sure if that means he's no longer interested, or that he's a gentleman??
Can I fire a pigeon out of a t shirt gun?
He fed me Girl Scout cookies while I was still tied up...what did I do right?
I just got home and spray-tanned my boyfriend. That's the side of relationships they don't tell you about...
home. only unpacked the necessities...contact case and beer.
I don’t care that he’s a decade younger. He’s cute and I need a good penising
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