God I'm so bored. I wish I had a baby or something to play with.
And this is exactly why you should NEVER have kids.
My workout was carrying 2 cases home from the grocery. It's Bowl Week.
I cant wait for your democrat phase to be over.
I just want a better ending for myself. Not walking around with one sock on and my bush hanging out.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
It's amazing how much better one feels once you put something in your vagina.
Beer bonged 7 shots of Jameson. I title this night short stories with tragic endings.
Come on. It's already happy hour in Europe...Man up. "I'm at work" and "it's a tuesday" are not valid excuses.
The timing couldn't have been better if I planned it. His mom walked away, I vomited in their mulch, and then his mom came back and offered me bread.
if it doesnt flame it aint got game is a bad drinking motto eyebrow-wise.
eyebrows regrow, your balls dont
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
we got kicked out of the bar last night for sneaking into the back kitchen and eating handfulls of cheese in the walk in fridge
Last time I was your wingman I had to deal with a girl whose only interest in my body was to clip my toenails. I'm not interested.
I left my ice cream out over night, it's melted, fuck this, I just poured Bailey's in it. Problems solved.
Be safe. If you have intercourse with a boy use so many condoms this his penis is no longer recognizable.
Tell him to put up or shut up. Can't be dangling dick in front of ho's without delivering.
It's just disrespectful
New strategy for telling if someone is drunk: will they attempt to drink a candle if you put a straw in it?
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