New pre-game routine....wal-mart bathrooms...quality beers for free...hallelujah
i cleaned out my closet and found 7 beers from 2007. ive had 3 so far.
she kept calling me pablo. i just went with it.
So you used a whole package of smoked meat last night. Didn't eat it, just took it out and put it all over the fridge.
Packing up everything in the dorm. Silly bands to unused condom ratio is ridiculous.
I'm making you a bingo card for hookups of the school year 2011-12 so you can make even worse life decisions next year
marshmallow pipe was a success. so was melon pipe. come try it
raced the clock twice to day to see if i could get off before my computer died and before i left for my noon bar crawl... win, win
lets go back to having secrets in our friendship
Captain Morgan didnt let me down when i stand up it feels like the world is trying to hand me rainbows.
My alarm clock on my phone was changed to Fat Bottom Girls over the weekend, and I just now noticed. I'm actually okay w that after Mardi Gras. Well done, random. Well done.
Hey, I'm off work. Wanna take a metric fuckton of adderall, possibly get daydrunk, and get my hair cut?
I bought a mink out of the back of some guy's van on my walk home from the bar yesterday
Lol for real, I'm Kylie Jenner "this is my year of realizing things" right now
you said, "the pool was totally tequila. and i left my shoe halfway across town. and by shoe i mean car" it appeared to me that you didn't have your shoes or car.
Want to help me interview candidates to replace my Cub/Boy Toy when he leaves for grad school next month?
Randomize
