There's an Captain Planet marathon because of Earth Day. I can't NOT turn this into a drinking game.
I should have some sort of frequent buyer card or something. I just bought my third bottle of Captain this week. It's Wednesday.
I am not old enough to be running into past fucks at the bank. This is at least a twenty five year old milestone.
well considering we left the bathroom with the mirror off the wall, a bloody nose, and clothes all messed up they assume im just a coke whore now..
She only remembers me when she's drunk. It's like I'm a suppressed memory that only surfaces with alcohol.
he's doing fine. just headbutted the wall and threw up
And all I wanted you to do is stand there and sing who let the dogs out.
Going out so taking the 2nd 1/2 of beer w/ me ont'tube in a Pringles tube. I give money to people on the street that have more self respect.
I need to throw up and die. The order doesn't matter. I feel like shit
I chugged that bitch with a dip in.
You somehow managed to be a man whilst drinking a Mike's Hard. I commend you.
It's midsummers eve. A.k.a. come over so we can get drunk and wear leaf crowns
I almost had sex in a public restroom last night in case you're wondering how much of a mess 22 is for me
We had sex while watching the republican debate. I'm not sure how he maintained an erection watching Donald Trump speak.
It's 6am and I had to explain to the gas station attendant why I didn't have shoes on and I'm covered in maple syrup.
I'll be honest, this year's Vegas trip will be nothing short of disappointing if there's no repeat of the angry ménage a trios in a closet.
Randomize
