I cockslap morals
You cheat on me once, shame on me. You cheat on me with a white girl, it's fucking over
He googled "how long will i be drunk" and just started crying
I can't believe you're fucking in the bar bathroom, but everyone else can, and they're really proud.
So my mom and I were talking about what I should get you for christmas. She made it clear I cannot get christmas lingerie.
I just puked my brains out on the side of the road (see picture) And I took a picture for our scrapbook! I am always thinking! =) tell me your proud?!
I have no idea how I got home or why I am naked but I assume I owe you a thank you...
I just wrote "where Jason is" on the screen. He guessed "hospital" correctly.
she broke my one feeling. seriously I think she broke my dick.
Dude. Her vagina is a blender.
Just stepped off the plane in St. Louis. I'm breaking out in hives, I'm allergic to Midwesterners. Can't WAIT to get the fuck out of here.
The difference between 22 and 28 is bigger than I realised. I had the urge to put on Spongebob and give him a cookie.
Fell off the toilet trying to reach to put my tampon in the garbage. Pride hurts real bad.
I can't believe just smoked out of a pear
I can't believe you had a pear already made to smoke out of, that was impressive
He's a college graduate, has an excellent job, and respects his family. To say nothing of his 8.5 inch cock. His narcolepsy not withstanding...I'm marrying this motherfucker.
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