I have on cowboy boots and a ten gallon hat. I'd say I'm a little past tipsy
dude, I'm listening to "I believe I can fly", i'm high, and driving. this is so amazing.
they pretty much knew i was there to get drunk and fuck their daughter
i tried to knight her with my dick. she said it was unromantic. what an ungrateful attitude for a knight.
Believe it or not I'm actually not the only person sitting in the back of the train covered in glitter and drinking whiskey out of an arizona iced tea can. Small world.
I told you he wasn't attractive.
Do you think I cared? I was wiping myself with a scarf..
I'm bringing my passport in case we get drunk and wind up in Mexico
Specially since he wanted to forget that we even touched, which makes it funnier because I don't think you can take back licking someone's butthole...
Personally, I'm gonna be Sexy Dobby the House Elf.
If you ever "miss" working, I'm going to fist you with my hulk hands. BOTH of them.
Haha just talked to the dude you bit on Thursday. He has been growing a beard to hide the bruising....
Just got a handjob in the hospital
A new low.
Dude...itll be a youre-still-a-dick-but-a-hot-one-angry-hate-evil-spite kinda fuck. This is acceptable.
We decided it was a good idea to go streaking through the campus. Everything was fine until the sprinklers turned on and we realized the keys were in his pocket.
Want to go to Victoria’s Secret? His fiancée is out of town and I’m going to try and stop the wedding with lingerie and lots adventurous sex
Absolutely! I love a good sexual filibuster!
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