I just woke up in bed next to my teacher. Does that mean I'm passing now?
The guy I was getting with last night took off his purity ring mid-sex and threw it across the room.
She says I'm cute and I remind her of her brother. She's too hot to back out now. I don't know. I'm guna go for it.
He went into the alley to piss and came back a minute later with a case of Bud Select. I'm speechless.
He has a lot of emotional energy invested in your vagina.
Thank god crabs can't live on your head. Thank god.
Look. I've got things to do today.. Will you hurry up and come over so I can give you some head and get my day started already
Outside
My mom just added me on Facebook... She has one like and it's Will Smith
there's cocaine on the ipad again........... was your sister here last night?
Thanks for coming over. I'm sorry everyone else was vomiting. Thank you for not vomiting. I love you.
he threw an umbrella that he ripped out of the table at the fence like he was harpooning a whale while the owner of the bar was outside then tried to blame it on an old man...
are you drinking tonight?
I have an exam tomorrow
so yes.
wyd
Laying here debating on if i want a sandwich or an orgasm.
I told him I might be pregnant and he said he'd buy me a test and a twix bar. I'm marrying him. Tomorrow.
If I shall die, I wish to bequeath to you my personal library, my sigma tau delta presidency and all it's apparel, and a puppy.
Randomize
