Well, its 5:30am and you haven't let me in, I guess ill go home
I think I have a pornographic memory.
Don't you mean photographic?
No.
Do you remember peeing on the wall and then yelling at us to stop looking at your dick?
I just Organized my jello shots by their colors in my mini fridge for the rest of the week. I'm going places in life.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
im in his phone as 'great ass to tap'
He noticed there was ketchup on his shirt and took it off. Noticed there were people there and put it back on. Then he saw the ketchup again. He must have taken his shirt on and off about 6 times
I smell like fire and strippers. Successful sunday funday.
When the cops pulled up I just stood flat against the fence with my hands up while yelling out,"I'm a tree!!"...
Be proud. You give fat lesbians everywhere shower-nozzle worthy material for weeks on end.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Feels like someone put a cigar out where my butthole used to live
Are you up yet? I really want to know if i tried sleeping in a field... i have the vaguest memory of trying to
I met a gypsy today. She told me my soul animal was an owl and says she will now remember me as "Owl Girl".
Am I supposed to get so horny by looking at your dick that I start orgasming uncontrollably
Good dick will make you do a lot of things… Great dick will make you consider buying a house.
If he doesn’t slap your ass with his drumsticks, then I don’t wanna hear about it.
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