i've counted 4 condom wrappers but only 3 condoms. not again.
So i decided to deal with the awkwardness of last night by making out with all three of them
please quote me on this- the only thing worse than being ugly is being ugly and thinking that you're pretty
Met some locals. They are taking me to a place where there is topless bullriding. I love this country.
we were having sex and the sweat made her make up run... seriously laid there and watched her face just melt into ugly.
Exactly. wat kind of friend would i be if i even pretended to give a shit about ur problems
can you explain how you are here for one night and now my kitchen table is in 11 pieces..
Man, only now that I'm single is it painfully obvious that I have zero booty calls in waiting. This could be a cold winter
Your smile makes me feel like I'm frolicking through a field of gummy bears.
Serious concern: will TSA confiscate my bondage rope?
If I die here, tell my vagina and my cats that I'm sorry.
We walking to the game and some random guy came up to to me and yelled "hey you're the whiskey guy!" And then high fived me then walked away
I don't know who he was but he was covered up with a shower curtain and ate a whole bottle of tums
we're tipping the strippers with chocolate coins.
This Cougar is looking at me like I’m a piece of meat and buying me top shelf cocktails
I’m getting a fear boner thinking about what she might do to me
Randomize
