I slept walked to the toilet and woke up pooping. Easily one of the most disorienting events of my life.
You proceeded to call me a hoe and then informed me that Bear Grylls is and always will be more important than I am to you.
It snowed today. The whore-inducing weather is official over.
i kinda regret how quickly i gave it up to him, but i just wanted the regular fucking to begin soon. ah we made good memories.
And then i had a penis in each hand. It was magical.
fat people need to stop using the handicapped bathroom stall so I can have sex in it. it's common logic
I consented to having my finger branded. How was your night?
She called us while she was having sex to ask if we remembered to feed the cat
I dont understand how her boyfriend puts up with her weirdness
In that case, I'll try 2 find a date. But my options are AA friends or fuck buddies.
Dammit labor day drinking cancelled due to 3 inch long table saw cut to palm
Found my underwear in a solo cup. That about sums up this weekend.
her tits were more amazing then brown bears with armor and guns that fire bullets of Justice that destroys inequality.
Get your clothes on you are our DD for the night. The usual three way payment
The band last night was really good
That was definitely karaoke. Guess that answers my follow up question on how drunk you were.
Only in this town do you have a bridesmaid shortage due to pregnancies.
Randomize
