____ banged a stripper...well technically she's now a hooker...
I'm laying in your front yard are you home
It's like a parade of train wrecks.
This girl wants me to lick her pits
pits??
Yeah pits, I think I still go for it though
This girls a $30 bar tab from being bi
dude, never take two tylenol pm and smoke three bowls. i feel like i'm covered in cold ants.
I feel like now would be a good time to apologize for vomiting in your eye
It's like the last supper of drinking before the summer ends
She told me she loves her boyfreind while she was giving me head. He must be a nice guy
So maybe putting the blacklight above the futon wasn't the best idea...
Watch out, there's a giant vagina in the quad running around screaming at people.
I just gave an orange Froot Loop the finger for falling on the floor instead of my mouth when I was pouring a mini box of cereal into my face.
Dude for real though, we gotta stop getting hammered and kissing gay guys.
Hi. Tara tells me your sandwiches and stamina are substantial
Jarrod's passed out on the chair with a cup of milk and I've been staring him down in an attempt to use telepathy to make him spill it. Attempts unsuccessful.
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