if by 'bottleservice' you mean 'bringing beers in my purse' then yes, we are.
I think I just need to sleep with both of them to see which I want to date.
You just went from promiscuous to slut in 3.2 seconds.
You should see the damage i did to the apartment last night. So many broken things and butter sticks stuck to windows.No memorys
A man pulled out his penis last night and when I said I wouldn't touch it, he said, "that's fine it just needs to breathe".
OK am i seriously the only one who thinks Cocaine Tuesdays is a bad idea?
I haven't seen him since I gave him a hand job in the hospital. I like to think I contributed to his speedy recovery.
He says he won't get serious until he screws an Asian and a virgin. I should just place an ad on Craig's List
Wanted: female 18-24 of Asian or partial Asian descent to fuck my ginger boyfriend. Must be willing and able to fake virginity. No emotional connection needed, just sex, just once. Further contact post sex not needed (or particularly desired)
Why the hell did you smack that girls beer out of her hand at the end of the night then buy her a double jack and coke for?
Its called bad cop laid cop.
Pack light, we're going straight to bar from the train. No place to put our shit.
Dude all I'm bringing is my dick and a phone charger.
Let's get weird.
It's 10 am...
I'm assuming that means you're not busy...
i had a mental breakdown over a math asignment proposed to a glass of chocolate milk then burned my hands when i acidentally leaned on the stove i have the grill marks burned on my hands i can see them
its only been 20 minuts since i last saw you
I was drunk, he was taking a bodyshot while avoiding my piercing. I told him I loved him. He waited until I woke up with my hangover to say he loved me too. It was hangover magic.
Things are coming back to me in chunks. I vaguely remember signing a shirt that said 'I enjoy vagina'
I AM SO PROUD OF YOU
I just walked out of the side door of the bar to come in the front door so no one would know I've been here drinking before our work meeting.
Is it acceptable to bring pot to a funeral or am I going to have to do this shit sober?
Randomize
