When you only buy popcorn and condoms at the grocery store they know whats up.
he said my vag tasted like ravioli n pennies... i forgot I was on my period
How do you get a cum stain out of a trampoline?
I just made $100 from people paying me not to get naked at the party... I need those P90X dvds
And when I say "complete whore" I mean I could possibly make a shameful profit by wearing this.
so would me posting the photos of the cock and coin jar incident be completely out of the question?
did u get his digits?
yes his name is chazbangbangbang according to my phone...
Wait, is this the kid that tried catching a bat in your backyard with a flashlight and a ball of tin foil?
All I know is she walked in crying with a bag of limes and a bottle of tequila and has been locked in her room blasting lil wayne ever since.
OMGGG I JUST SAW A REAL OWL JUST CHILLING ON TOP OF A SIGN POST. I WALKED UP TO HIM AND SAID HOO HOOOOO AND HE TURNED HIS HEAD AT ME AND WAS LIKE YEAHHH BRO
He's in the same dorm as me. We are sharing a laundry room, gym, and cafeteria. I'VE ALREADY COMMITTED DORMCEST AND MOVE-IN DAY ISN'T UNTILL NEXT WEEK!!!!
Would you consider masturbating to Hocus Pocus an adulthood high or low?
SPICY FOODS AND BLOWJOBS DON'T MIX.
YOU SAID YOU'D TRY ANYTHING ONCE YOU LIAR
So the vodka/tequila mix went down fine but the burp made me cry
Idk if you've ever tried hysterically crying in the shower listening to Florence + The Machine but it's honestly a life-affirming experience
Randomize
