it's not gay if you rub your penis between their butt cheeks and pretend they are tits
Note to self: Not getting laid all weekend makes girls in mondays classes racks seem enormously bigger.
I just wished the taco bell drive thru guy a happy cinco de mayo. Who says arizonians hate mexicans?
I woke up with like grass burns all over my body, i'm pretty sure i made out with someone under a bus. . . but i'm not sure
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Dude. It just hit me for a second time. My thumbs are huge and moving very quickly. Like stampeding buffalo...
If I weren't her cousin I'd take advantage of her and this low point in her life.
If you see my mugshot on the news tomorrow, its not what you think
Guy, there will be accountabilities this weekend that you will need to respond to, or else.
The boat wouldn't start, so we brought it back to her house and we've been sitting in it in her driveway for the past 5 hours drinking beer and yelling at peoplee.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I gave him head in my cape. On the kitchen floor. Watching a show about bacon.
But see that's the thing. I know i'm better looking than you, I just want you to be continually in a state of shock and awe that you could ever get a girlfriend this hot. You know?
Also...I'm semi-dating the drug dealer that took me to bible study
My vagina: 1 Male stubborness: 0
I just found those cheese sticks in my purse. Along with a handful of confetti.
*swallows 40 gallons of heavy water and astral projects into buzzfeed* Top Ten Reasons Why I Am God
Randomize