I sent the random girl I had sex with last night a 'happy mothers day' text as a reminder to get the morning after pill.
I was chocking and even did the sign for it..And you continued to just laugh
why did you let me tell everyone that you can get herpes from the ice luge and then let me do the ice luge?
Ladystoner tip: if eyes are bloodshot, lime green eyeliner makes them appear less red. its basic artt.
I've decided to be proactive and make a sex playlist on my phone to avoid any awkward moments in my upcoming slutty summer
So he texted me two hours ago to tell me he just took two hits of acid. Now he's asking me if it's possible for a house to breathe.
and ive been naked for the greater part of the evening. alone, drunk, and naked. i think that is how all great interventions start.
That was the apt with beer in the juice and the floor caving in. Don't go.
You don't want to cheat on your husband, you just want to fuck someone who isn't him.
I was too hungover to read the menu. I literally pointed at a picture of an advertisement and handed the cashier my card
I feel like I'm pretty optimistic for a girl that might be pregnant.
I don't even have his number. I have his pants tho
How did they ever let a trainwreck like myself run a bar?!
Same encounter she body slammed me to the floor and than humped me
Full body rubs, head scratches, foot rubs, massages, a penis that is able to get hard whenever you want it. I mean ive got a lot to offer
Randomize
