Of course im so fucked up sarah. I fight away tornadoes.
no. you're not making a beach trip out of my abortion.
i woke up with my wallet keys and phone missing and a treasure map to find them stapled to my shirt.
haha i know
There were 11 girls in that minivan and everyone was either puking, crying, or yelling "we're a total shit show"
May or may not have just lost a contact hanging out Anthony's sunroof. Drunk. Hint: I can only see out of one eye right now.
If I puke off the kayak tomorrow think nothing of it.
We laughed. We cried. We came everywhere.
id one day like to live in a world full of emotionless and wonderfully fullfilling sex...
I'm driving home wearing one sock, boxers, and a tee shirt. That's how good it was
Because making bad decisions is what makes our house great and I don't plan on changing that anytime soon.
We got stoned and took selfies with the most perfect lawn
Just had to tell a NYC cop I was doing the Dougie in a houndstooth jumper so he could find me in the security video.
I'm "drunk text both siblings" drunk.
idk he wanted to trade sex for a triple order of hashbrowns
AND YOU SAID NO?????????
Chaz got drunk and passed out so we superglued a kazoo to his mouth. Listening to him Panic when he woke up was fucking hilarious.
Randomize
