Pretty sure I only gave out my other # though. You know, 777 777-7777
Hahaha. So was it a Freudian slip, or wishful thinking? ;)
Could be either seeing as you're in my phone as "3rd bar" and I couldn't pick you outta a line up.
apparently red wine has the total opposite effect that whiskey does on his dick
he is so annoying
so stop sleeping with him
yeah but he is so hot when i'm drunk
you kept lying down on the floor at the bar just to prove you could get back up
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Hahaha you puked all over his shirt.
You puked in the planter and everyone saw your snatch.
Well someones bitter they didn't get any.
you were sat in the corner crying until someone gave you a baguette, which you then tried to feed to the duck doorstop.
I regret nothing
I should not be in class today. For the professors sake.
Just hook me up with your dad already stop being selfish
I woke up while eating peanut butter from a jar. I don't think I should be social today.
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So yes we had an orgy last night and I sucked your tits while you fucked my husband but I am weird about sharing my toothbrush.
I seriously doubt this is the first time pumpkin pie has led to a booty call.
And with one simple text you can separate the men from the boys...."it's that time of the month."
I'm so high right now that I winked back at a character in this TV show.
i literally have the attention span of a weasel on steroids, but yeah, i know who you’re talking about.
just had sex in a stairwell with six feet five inches worth of drama
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