He saved me in his phone as Easy Jen. Should I be offended?
I wouldn't worry about it. He has me as "Sex Puppet."
You know you have a problem when the only thing that saves you is that you drank so late into the night that you sleep through the designated walk of shame time window
whats wrong with me. i have a coffee mug of wine in the library and i'm doing homework
you were stealing lawn gnomes and punching cars. I'm not surprised you got arrested.
There needs to be a newsfeed for phones... A list of all my drunken calls, texts, BBMs, new contacts, pictures sent AND received, all in chronological order.
At least they aren't charging us for the broken diving board...
Packing up everything in the dorm. Silly bands to unused condom ratio is ridiculous.
If you hook up with your cousin you will permanently be my favorite person ever.
Wtf just happened. Thought you were in my bed since 3am, turned out I was sharing it w/a drunk girl from the 6th floor lounge...
As your attorney I advise you to rage rapidly
Go for it! You're young. Have fun. Be somebody's expensive hobby like Anastasia Steele.
You attract beautiful men with jobs. I attract ONE WITH A SOUL PATCH.
it was a sexy soul patch.
Listen. You dont know how advanced you are in yoga till you have to shave your butthole
I am all the way hung over and want nothing more in this world than a McMuffin. Happy day after Thanksgiving.
I find him attractive in the absolute weirdest way. Like I need him to do my taxes, but I also feel like I should spill things on him to gain his attention and then lick it off to gain his affection.
Randomize
