he kept farting in my kitchen and blaming it on the dog. then we went to wendy's and he spent twenty minutes in the bathroom. im pretty sure he shit his pants.
you should have known when you found out he drove a mini cooper not to hang out with him.
its time to go be "that drunk guy nobody knows"....again.
he kept bringing up different times we had sex and i wouldnt say anything back. i would never confirm nor deny the situation...like a politician ya kno
Does puking on your bio final mean I can retake it?
If I have to go to the hospital, at least put my pants back on. It's been a fantastic night.
Shirtless guy staggering down the sidewalk, puking into a Prada shopping bag. Ahhh, the walk of shame in Boystown.
That final makes me want to drink myself into the fetal position
she was braiding my hair and singing forever young while she vommed everywhere at the same time. Talent.
Is it bad that I coached my cousins 6 year old boy to steal a 30 rack of keystone out of an unattended cooler at our family reunion, or was I just giving him a social head start in high school? I err on the side of awesome.
Getting your clit pierced is not something you want to trust to a crazy girl with an ice cube, some vodka, and a sewing needle. Trust me. I learned that the hard way.
and the oscar for 'most creative swearing' goes to you for 'jesus's bloody fucksticks'
I'm ordering sushi and crying over finals. Come over and bring wine.
I mean. I'm excited for the Seahawks too. I just love nachos.
It is 5:00PM and I'm just now putting on underwear.
It threw me off a little. I had to take a moment and ask myself, "Is he really fingering me in his mom's kitchen while I eat a whopper?"
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