2 nights ago she wants to see other people, tonight she wants to have a threesome. The GOOD kind of threesome. So... win?
I just realized that when I walk away people probably say "wow she really has a drinking problem" and sadly it doesn't bother me.
Hurry up. We're trading phones to prevent drunk texting.
winter break is gonna be like a weird mixture of rehab fat camp and holiday cheer.
Excuse me by sucking dick i am fighting crime. Just think of all the prostitues going out of business and getting real jobs.
She is wasted and this random lady got her to suckle milk from her tit
Why do i feel like Captain Hook just gave me a pap smear?
TIL a potato cannon can be loaded with dildos as ammunition. Boy, do our neighbours love us!
But I'm a half a mile from my bed. And I have the hiccups. I hate hiccups.
You were sitting in a chair and you said "I just feel like a little fishy, floooooating through the ocean, so pretty"
He serenaded me a cappella to Ed Sheeran. I wasn't going to leave his dick unsucked.
Hello my rib-scented angel!
I think I'd rather see her get hit by a car in one of those Russian dash cam videos on YouTube.
He's UNCIRCUMCISED. And it curves. Two things I've never encountered in all my sluttiness and they're both on the hottest guy alive. :(
MASS TEXT: Next weekend I will be in town for St. Patty's day. There will be a bonfire and liqour olympics. We will have booze but in order to participate it is byob. Upon arrival everyone will be asked to sign a waiver. I am not responsible for liver failure, death, loss of clothing or memory, bites, scratches, hickies, pregnancies, or any other for of injury you may obtain while participating. There will be ridiculous amounts of green glitter, be prepared to puke it up. ALSO WEAR SOMETHING GREEN OR YOU WILL BE PENALIZED!! AUTOMATIC 5 SHOTS. HAPPY GAMING!!!
Randomize
