Got one of only two perfect scores in the class on the quiz I took drunk. This is not a good thing for me to have learned about myself.
He says he's "masters drunk." And if that's anything like "kentucky derby drunk" I know enough to not go over there.
i can't remember the last friday i didn't spend in the foetal position
I don't think I have ever puked up that much free breakfast in my life...thank god for Nickle Beers.
We are lost. Everyone is drunk and it all went downhill after we iced the bus driver.
On the plus side this hangover is the tipping point that finally convinced my lazy ass to get some sunglasses.
All my credit cards need to be pressure washed
You'd think, but when you nail one sorority sister, you might as well have nailed them all.
I seriously just caught my Pina colada from falling of a table perfectly facing up. I will now reward myself by finishing this one and then getting my 8th
Lets watch game of thrones and have sex every time someone is naked. It'll be like a drinking game but better.
Young lesbians are the worst. And also what got me through high school, sooooo
He sent me a dick pic, and it had smeared lipstick on it. So I sent him the pic of my tit with the hickey ring your brother gave me.
Sooooooo, can scratch getting a pelvic exam by a man dressed as Woody from Toy Story off my list.
You need to write an essay about this experience.
He was even wearing the hat.
if jesus wore shoes made out of pure flavor and hurricane kicked u in the face thats how it feels to eat pizza bites right now
If my vagina was a person it would have a bandage around its head and it's arm in a sling rn
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