Ha. Yes. I'm at a strip club. I'm the barack obama of strip clubs
Yes, it's true. 4 fingers.
you really should stop posting my phone number on craigslist as tranny seeking tranny, last night i answered at family dinner and almost choked on my hot dog
do you not see the irony in that??
I'm 99% sure that for 3 hours I thought you were British. We must smoke that again.
I gave him a handjob while watching the presidential address. Needless to say, it was weird.
I won't be sarcastic... just naked
She's never allowed to turn 21 again
Just heard Miley Cyrus' version of "Every Rose Has Its Thorn". Fuck everything. If you don't have an std you have no right to remake this song
I just test ran being their maid. I'm getting 50 bucks a month and they're buying the costume.
In an m&m suit playing manhunt drunk. And you thought you werent guna have a good time
There are parrots here and they're headbanging to the music. There's also a clown and a pit bull that can jump onto tables. Too high for this shit.
My biggest accomplishment thus far this summer is having sex 5 weeks after hip surgery.
After getting kicked out of the bar, you proceeded to McDonald's, ordered 30 nuggets, slammed them all back in 5 minutes and then stole 3 traffic cones...how you only got charged with drunk in public is beyond me.
I have the overwhelming need to take care of him. Both with my vagina and like emotionally.
How ironic... opening your legs for closure.
Randomize
