i'm going to rape that little man
omg not your brother
oh jesus shes a lukewarm mess
I tried karate at age 7 and quit after realizing it conflicted with watching new episodes of "Full House."
Thats a flattering suggestion doug but lets be clear NO you may not put your face in my vagina just because ur not charging me a cover. sorry.
I told him I'd give him a BJ if he admited Hanson was good.
you decided to have a spaghetti fight but then you got greedy and decided to eat it all.
If i come home from court on friday.. i'm definitely doing something illegal.
I managed to fit my wallet, my keys, my phone, Tammy's necklace, and $38.50 all in my bra. and $1.50 is in quarters. go me.
You know how girls with huge tits have back problems? Do you get knee problems or something?
Hey do you think you can sew an adult onsie with easy access if you know what I mean!!?? It must have bunny feet.
Seriously just confirmed via our bathroom scale that a keg weighs 170lbs
He also wore a doorag last night so i had to swipe left.
I got stabbed with a couple of chip crumbs during sex Saturday. Further proof I need to stop eating snacks in bed
So I slept with some guy last night and when I woke up in the am couldnt remember his name. I text him n asked "How do you spell your name?" to try n find out and all he replied was "With an A." WTF!?
Not to make this awkward, but if we ever have sex (perhaps drunkenly), all i'm gonna be able to think about is how sexy our kids would be.
Randomize
