Just saw 30+ dicks. Explain later.
you were saying "i am the vodka queen!" and then in a different voice replying to yourself "all hail the vodka queen! you are so beautiful!"
The maintenance guy at work just asked me out for a drink. For once, I proudly said that I was 20.
In less than 3 minutes we had 3 security guards running after us
I'm pretty sure whiskey overrules bulimia in the eyes of Texas boys
She shouted out halfway through "that costume does nothing to hide your cock". Last time we let her drink at the theatre.
I guess I'm in a committed relationship. We just had shot 1 of 3 of Gardasil. I'm now dead inside.
She's the second Ashley to meet and blow me in the same night. Sensing a trend.
Seriously. My vagina. Can we talk about it? It's gonna jump off this treadmill and devour my trainer.
I misjudged the power of my pelvic thrusting capabilities. His nose is broken. Thoughts?
I got a thank you card in the mail from the virgin i slept with on the camping trip. Weird or the new classy?
you're right. i am beautiful. like a May day. frolicking in a meadow of wildflowers. platinum in one hand. pipe in the other. that kind of beautiful.
You could be a whistle.. And just ask bitches if they want to blow you all night
When he mumbled "I can't feel my legs," proceeded to stand, fall over, and just lay there I knew I'd given great head...
Remember, today is also the anniversary of Harambe's death. D**** out.
Randomize
