K got coke dick during a threesome with two strippers. Say no to drugs.
Grossest hangover story of 09: Puked in the bathtub. I was in it.
I just google mapped his house on satellite so i can really see how much money he has. Does that make me shallow?
I say that when we get our grades back we're making a drinking game out of it.
we boned then he told me that he had a thing for my gay roommate. worst night ever
Well, when he's back from China he's probably gonna be pissed I used the spare key he gave me to prove to everyone I'm fucking an NBA player. We took all his booze too.
Why did I just get a ziplock baggie labeled "2010" on it from you in the mail?
My sister was not impressed when she got here. I was standing in the doorway in my underwear drinking a beer. At 2pm. On a Monday.
it's ok, no one ever died fom being sticky.
i've gotta research that and get back to you.
He caught a cramp during sex and I was like "do you want me to get you a banana?" And he responded with "I'll give you a banana" and kept going. I'm marrying him.
Nipple rings and loofahs DO NOT mix.
You just accidentally called me. You kept saying "Really?! Really?!!" So I can only assume you are having sub par sex
He just jumped up off the couch, screamed "ITS OVER NINE THOUSAND!" And then attempted to fly out the window like a bird. I don't know nor do I care to know what just happened
I WILL KICK YOU IN THE FUCKING THROAT IF YOU EAT MY FUCKING ICE CREAM.
IT'S PERFEFT
... what?
HIS DICK. IT'S PERFECT. BYE.
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