so i told my doctor my symptons and she just shook her head at me
I just followed a trail of feathers and glitter to class. Today better be fucking magical.
is it bad that listening to the rabbi's wife talk about how we should only be with one person is making me really, really horny for no string attached sex
just saw a guy driving a atv down the highway in a tux.... only in Iowa...
Yes, that was me on the jumbo tron. No, i don't know why i was hiding.
I maybe late, he's in a peeing contest with the neighbor's dog. Currently he's in the lead.
I accidentally got a lemon stuck in your bong. I was trying to make it taste good. Sorry
Dude. That is just waaaay to much random to process after that tequila battle.
It's fucking New Year's. I can be soberish in 2013 after tonight. It's like the 30 years of grey area between Jesus' birth and death.
My ultimate goal is to get laid wearing a horse mask... That would be awesome on all possible levels
My phone autocorrects "pooping" to "popping" and I'm like DO YOU EVEN KNOW ME??!
She's like the Jonah Hill of sorority sisters.
And I just got smacked in the face by my cat. Apparently I'm supposed to be awake now.
I cannot handle Xanax... I just turned my computer on and I googled how to work YouTube
I dont even know what happened i just remember waking up with beer cans outlining my body...
Randomize
