I'm saving my limes so I'll know how many drinks I've had.
I do the same thing, but I use ice cubes.
I haven't even gone in yet. I'm sitting in the waiting room playing a game i like to call "Who else is here for AA".
I just ate a cashew that looked EXACTLY like your dick.
She said i kept moaning her moms name instead of hers
It's sad that the best source of heat that I have is my vaporizer.
So help me Jesus we're never drinking together again. But weekends don't count. Amen.
The only thing in that hotel room that we didn't fuck on was the roof
Oh and apparently Friday night I came home and tried assembling the Christmas tree until my mom just told me to go to bed. Blackout.
He walked in on me banging his sister and said "you're both old enough to make you own decisions. Carry on"
What type of bandaid should I use on my clit
Is it sad or funny that I just bought two pregnancy test at the dollar store to give away to people on New Year's Eve while driving for Uber.
Do you remember last night?
Just that I fell down a hill with my penis out and the emt talked to me.
I just realized now that I slept with him while he was still wearing the maid costume... I've reached a new level of sexual freakness.
Dude. If you guys end up really liking each other, the color of his pubes won't matter. I wouldn't break a sweat.
Not to be hella graphic on main but I just came so hard I think I saw a new color.
Randomize
