One of my boys faked an orgasm while fucking a girl tonite, w/ out wearing a condom mind you.
She caught him, and immediately put her clothes on and left.
I think we should boobie trap our beer this time using duct tape, rubber bands, seran wrap, and urine. Trust me I have a plan and it will work.
Apparently tackling a bar stool and crashing to the floor while yelling for 6 shots of whiskey won't get you thrown out on St Pattys Day.
Just walked in on my older brother getting a bj. He told the girl to "keep going" and then attempted to high five me
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
bark. im thoroughly looking forward to kegs and eggs. next weekend should be pancakes and pinnical, then cereal and seagrams and then whiskey and waffles.
My life now consists of 2 time frames. BV before vibrator and AD after death of my sex life.
Just remember my house smells of thick cut bacon and I have a big dick.
Vodka?
Forever.
I had to warn the neighbors
Warn them about what?! It's noon
"Pay no attention to me if at random points of the day I'm outside with kitty cat ears on" I'm a mess...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
sorry like um she made me hold her puke bag while she peed in front of me is that better
i can't invite random hot hobos into my aunt's house.
I asked him why he was eating an entire can of refried beans, the only answer I got was "revenge"
If thou doesn't answer thou phone thou shall receive a barrage of Dick pics. It's the eleventh commandment.
At some point, you're going to have to talk to a tree and do what it says
No, he came home, unscrewed all of the lightbulbs, and threw them in the sink.
Randomize