So I just did the walk of shame at dunkin... A lady told me me I was really dressed up and I told her I was going to a luncheon.
Can we progress our friendship to a point where i'm at least granted a blowjob allowance?
sexting on a treadmill. speed 9.0 beat that slut!
He tried to make eye contact, he should know by now that freaks me out
No that's sign language, not a drinking game. I tried to join
Nicee. Atleast your phone doesn't change pen in to PENISsSSSSSSS like mine does
Did my good deed for the day.. Helped an old guy hide his beer on the NJ transit while the ticket lady came by
Made out with a girl in a wheelchair and rode her around while I was blackout. On a new level.
I was dressed as bob Ross as this occurred
You should've come to the party. It was like an identity parade of everyone you screwed last year.
I'm waiting at the bar and am surrounded by unattractive women.
You need to get here and rebalance this disturbance in the force.
We found Kyle. He was next door yelling at the elderly couple to let him continue his golf game. No more afternoon drinking for him.
if my uterus stops caving in on itself long enough for me to be alive I'm there
Idk my boobs are big but i dont think theyre hide a flask in them big..
Id like to submit an apology whenever you feel like talking.
Its not gonna be for awhile Im not a very forgiving person especially since you TOTALED MY FUCKING CAR.
Accidentally made a bowl of macaroni and cheese with a bottle of vodka. It's not that bad
Randomize
