If it were my dying wish, would you come over 2nite 2 save me?:):):) wana come anyways?
I just used Master P to describe what sound the letter U makes to my daughter...
i am fully taking advantage of taking advantage of him
P.S. theres no milk for breakfast, but theres plenty of beer or red wine. you decide.
his pick up line was "wanna get a pizza and fuck?"
did it work
that's not the point...
so today in my theology class we brought up the proper way to have sex. so rough sex was said by the teacher...I said I know a girl that likes to be choked. sorry but everyone knew it was you
How sober do you have to be to donate blood?
yeah, but the first step is admitting you have a problem, the next step is kidnapping him
What are you doing and how can I add sex in there
drunk freshman in the bathroom puking keeps saying "i'm a peasant" over and over
We were having an argument with his friends mom about whether it was worse that he bootycalled me at 4 a.m. or that I bootycalled him at 12 in the afternoon
Someone downtown drunkenly stole the antenna off of her car... while she was driving.
Guess who just sucked off 1/5 of one direction?
He's the first man I've met that knows more about Harry Potter than I do. He shops at Goodwill and has a Game of Thrones cookbook in his apartment. This is my soulmate.
So yes we had an orgy last night and I sucked your tits while you fucked my husband but I am weird about sharing my toothbrush.
Randomize
