Come with me and I'll find you a girl. What's your type?
Vagina
the last thing i remember is fucking her. GAME CHANGER i woke up in another bedroom to her younger sister blowing me
You are the worst substitute drug dealer ever
You keep saying things....but all I'm hearing is kegs
you were like "guys ... i think i got fingered while dancing tonight"
our poor poor cab driver
IM FEEDING MY CAT ALL THE HAM
woke up in your bed at 6 AM. on my way home I passed Nathan, bloody, barefoot, and still in a toga. He told me he woke up in a ditch then kept repeating "I'm totally bringing this up at meeting tomorrow". I'm proud of your frat today
We fucked on a kid's slide, my vagina is singing praises of being used
We're about to play the try not to vom at the president's house game...
Something about the fact that I could do coke off her ass cheeks just speaks to me
Def don't remember taking those pics I sent you...but it looks like I was in a car? Shit. Looks like my Uber passenger rating just went up exponentially.
I think my pickup truck has been used for the sex... This doesn't sit right with me.
I've made a new rule for socializing in the winter: if it doesn't involve me orgasming or getting drunk I can't make it
Getting on a bus with a beer pong table. I am proof we can make this campus fun.
Mom wants to know if you're coming over or if it's safe for her to take her bra off...
Randomize
