The guy I fucked in the port a poty just called me and asked me on a date!
Awkward!
No he was cute and I said yes!
I hope im prettier
yea, just so you know this whole self-loathing thing is getting pretty fucking annoying
Had a 3 sum last night, and today food just taste better and the air seems so much fresher!
I feel like sober is me a distant relative that I only see on christmas..
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soooo.. i guess the cop said he'd drop the charges if i go to some AA meetings and i said fuck AA. not one of my better choices.
I think the waitress doesn't beleive I have friends coming. I've had 4 drinks and a large salad just waiting for you guys.
I'm still not walking right. We need some boundaries for "drink-or-dare"...
Hahahaha you would not believe what I just pulled out of my vagina. Actually you probably wouldn't be surprised.
I would never do this in real life. It's only college.
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Now that I'm born again, I'm preserving my gift.
Your vagina isn't a White Elephant gift. You can't re-wrap it after it's already been given several times. That's white trash thinking.
Blowing a married man is so much more important than a 12 year olds basketball game.
If the world ends and i have no vodka please just kill me.
I literally have anal toys soaking in the bathroom sink and dinner on the stove. If that doesn't scream "domestic goddess", I don't know what the fuck does.
New guy moved in the apartment next door. He's a combat vet, 6'4", Adonis body and going to med school. My vagina is chewing thru the wall as we speak.
I’m never getting home or fucked or eating hot Taco Bell fml
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