Having an 'SDSU Mom' sticker is just like say 'Hi, my daughter has an std"
I told her at least we still had each other. That's when she started crying.
i definitely just woke up with half of a cigarette tucked underneath my balls. Last night must have been interesting
I just called my cat a slut and she responded. Proudest moment ever.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Making pb&j crepes. Using corn tortillas. So high. I don't know if I'm offending French people or Mexican people more.
No fireworks. Throwing the old microwave off the deck.
No, but I woke up here and my pockets are full of raisins. Like 6 different pockets.
I mean...he was throwing up for almost 3 consecutive hours. I don't think there's a chance in hell that would have tasted even close to tolerable.
I'm on my fifth cocktail in twenty minutes. I don't think I will end this on two legs.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I won't apologize to a one balled man
Sushi was just eaten off my naked body. I feel like I can die in peace now.
Would you please stop exposing your tits on my couch?
Fuck you, my tits are fabulous
We get drunk and make out in different places. Is that what love is?
At this point in job hunting, I'm willing to become a leather daddy if it means some sort of income.
What happened to your back?
Rug burn. My ass is even worse.
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