TBS has betrayed me by telling me tyler perry is funny
I feel like this whole "telling that guy i have a kid to avoid him" thing is getting out of hand..
How so?
Probably at the point when i told him i was "Too drunk to drive" and "had to pick up my kid" all in a span of like 2 hours.
My girlfriend and my fuck buddy both started their periods this weekend. The good news is, neither of them are pregnant. The bad news is, I'll have to find someone else to fuck til next weekend. No wait.....that's good news too.
We're going to play a drinking game. It's called "Senior Year of College."
asked the girl next to us on line to take a picture of us and she shared her bacardi. i love white people.
I'm sick of being the only unemployed member of the group. Doing things alone isn't partying. Its sad.
Remember that time you gave me a fat lip with your vag? We should do that again!
Is drinking before noon still a bad idea if you invent an amazing cocktail?
I just watched two grown men tickle-fight. Just glorious. No words.
Yeeeaahhh, I'm in no rush to dismiss a level 6 booty-call that pays my bar tabs and understands my Harry Potter obsession.
I miss using glorious as an adjective. I'm gonna start doing that again. And I'm gonna try to get cuntatrosphe in there some more, too.
You're not married and none of these idiots are committing to you so whore it up on whore island
Can we go to pirate hooker whore island then
went out last night. woke up with a lisp.
JUST DENIED A NEW YEARS KISS BECAUSE HE WAS A COWBOYS FAN.
You were wearing a sequin mini, with Tevas. And you still got laid.
Randomize
