I'm at the bar with Ashley what should I do?
humiliate her
yo dude i was totally schwabbin last night.
what does that even mean?
you ever see those charles schwabb commercials, where the people are like half cartoon half real.... well yeah i saw that in real life.
Midget Michael Jackson impersonator dancing to Beat it in Penn Station almost caused me to miss my train. God, I
For some reason 'start yourself on fire drunk' isn't nearly as funny after last 4th of july..
I have no idea how to attract men with my personality anymore. He can't see my tits via facebook chat
Don't let the fact that shes seen my penis discourage you
It's only 8pm and Karl already got a stripper fired.
It'll be like a meth lab. But with jello.
Oh my gosh they are following me around the bar
Blow your rape whistle
I swear to god if he wasnt on the fourth floor balcony and I wasn't to drunk to climb I would kill him
She had forties taped to her hands and was trying to give him a hand job while he was passed out, with everyone in the living room.
It's probably because the lack of alcohol in your stomach. Alcohol kills bacteria. I am a doctor. Trust me
Just bc you put "its cute" at the end of it doesn't change the fact that u have called me a vag twice this morning and its only 10:03
He was like the most intimidating looking guy you've seen in your life except he was really shittily doing the two step
At 10 PM you were shit faced in the kitchen makin nachos... Naked. I wasn't sure what to do besides walk away...
Randomize
